Gateway Parts

is this a good discount letter?

To whom it may concern; Hello i am Kayla , ** years old you have absolutly no idea how much i would love and enjoy to have the expierence to be able to go to Camp Tamarack over summer 2010, but unfortanatlly my family is experienceing money cuts at there work and my dad said it would be very difficult to pay the very expensive fee, without a discount. My best friend Taylor goes here every summer, and has an AMAZING time! and i get so incredibally jelous every time she comes back with all these storys and memories that i just extremely wish i could be a part of, but i can not without a dicount. I am not rich but i am also not poor; My parents have 4 kids and 2 are newborns, i'm even luckey that my dad will allow me too go with the discount! So please allow me to have this experience, i will enjoy and cherish every single moment at this wonderful camp. My life is absorbed by computers, cell phones, television, etc. but i love nature, so please i will ask again could you please allow me to have this expierence of a life time,

Public Comments

1. You don't want to tell them that you're a tech person because they might think you're not suited for a camp. Also, you can't just tell them that you think they're expensive. You have to make it sound like it's a reasonable price but it's just something your family can't afford. I've edited your letter. Below is how I would write it and send it off. It is more professional, sincere, and less whiny. To whom it may concern; My name is Kayla (last name) and I am X years old. I understand that you must receive letters like this all the time, but I am hoping that Camp XXX is willing to make an exception and possibly allow me to attend camp this summer at a discounted rate. I know that the rates are set as stated on the website, but I do not come from a very wealthy family and would really appreciate and cherish the experience of attending Camp XXX. My friend Taylor (last name) attends your camp every summer and she always comes back from camp with such wonderful stories and tells everyone what an amazing experience it is every single time. I desperately want to have some of those same amazing experiences she speaks so fondly of, but I know I cannot do so without a discount of some sort. Any help or assistance with the fees would be very much appreciated. Thank you in advance for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you regarding this matter. Kind Reards, Kayla (last name)
2. It could be, but Cars & Transportation > Insurance & Registration is hardly the place to ask. In reading it as a detached observer, it sounds to me more like you want to be with Taylor more than you you want to be at camp. I do suggest if you decide to send the letter that you proof read it, and fix all the misspelled words though. Absolutely, experience, unfortunately, experiencing, incredibly, jealous, stories, discount, lucky were all misspelled.